Dreams

This must be a dream because

I do not know

What I am thinking

Or where I’m going

What am I trying

What am I waiting for

Where am I swimming

I wonder through the night

Nothing feels quite the way it should

It seems like I’m missing something

I don’t understand myself

I don’t understand my heart

I don’t know how to find this

I am filled with questions in this dark night

I whisper into an empty space when I am alone,

Catch me the stars, cause they are far away

Throw me a lifeline

I’m afraid the stars will leave me

My hands are shaking when I speak

Please don’t let me fall alone

In a shower of wispy feathers

I am covered in dew and I am drawn into a cave

It’s so dark, look away, look away

I know I am digging holes with a spoon

This is not real

Give me the sky

I catch the sky in my hands but the wind rips it

Away from me and I can’t fly to follow it

I’m afraid I don’t have enough to keep it

Maybe I don’t think of the things I should

Maybe I’m not looking in the right places

Please answer me

My heart is calling to the wild hawk

Where are you

Find me in this nothingness

I veil every word I say

But I don’t want to—I want to be heard

Do you hear me, do you know I am calling

I watch the birds and they see me down here

But they don’t come down for me

Their songs romance the sky

But I can’t get my guitar in tune

My voice keeps breaking

I keep trying

Why don’t I get there

I never sing the right things

I always get hurt and fall down when I try to fly

I’m terrified

I’m running the wrong way

I trip again

My heart is pounding, mind is racing

The leaves are swaying overhead in the sunlight

I’m trying to touch the faces of the trees

I’m on the beach and the waves are leaving me behind

The tide is pouring away

I don’t understand the birds

They swoop and dive and call but

I don’t understand

I envy you

I do not know how to fly

I do not want to swim

Oh how I wish I knew this

So I stand in the night

I stand in the moonlight and wish

That I was what I want to be

Find me cause I’m in a forest of trees too tall

I have echoes in my brain

I’m falling and I’m hanging on the edge of a cliff

Bird’s nests all around, baby birds live here

Think I’m gonna fall off

Oh how I tremble, oh how weak I am

I am jealous of jealousy

I drop the rope again and again

I wanna let go of the roots but they wrap around my wrists

Is this prison

Why do beams of sunlight glance into my eyes

Why am I seeing blind

I am at war inside

I feel my ribcage and I think it is cracking

Let it out, let it out

I wanna go and never come back

Oh, I wanna leave

I can’t figure it out

Unsettled feeling, tired eyes

Tired from watching my thoughts float by

I don’t know what’s wrong

Fog chases me and I cannot get away from it

I lie down and my thoughts won’t stop

Chasing around and around

I am sure something is wrong

What did I do, what did I say

Was it enough

What did I do, how did I end up here

I wanna be a bird

My dreams are reflections of insanity

I wake up cold and shivering

I pull the covers

There’s an island out there somewhere

I gotta find it in the fog

This isn’t right

I say all the wrong things

I don’t make sense

I pick feathers out of the sand

I imagine

It’s not enough

I always think I’ll scare you off

You wild, wild gentle creature of the sky

Again and again

Slipping away, drifting away on the sea

Hiding

This dream is swallowing me

I’m just trying to get out of this dream

I don’t want this surreal reality

Dreams don’t make sense

I don’t make sense

Feathers floating past, white

Suddenly I see butterflies

Fluttering around me

They're dancing

Is it a dream or is it real

I try to touch them

I feel so lost in vague unreality

This dream is endless

I am exhausted, I am melting into a cloud

Lend me your wings so I can fly out

Grab my hand

Hold tight so I can sleep