Thursday, March 16, 2017


This must be a dream because
I do not know
What I am thinking
Or where I’m going
What am I trying
What am I waiting for

Where am I swimming
I wonder through the night
Nothing feels quite the way it should
It seems like I’m missing something

I don’t understand myself
I don’t understand my heart
I don’t know how to find this
I am filled with questions in this dark night

I whisper into an empty space when I am alone,
Catch me the stars, cause they are far away
Throw me a lifeline
I’m afraid the stars will leave me
My hands are shaking when I speak
Please don’t let me fall alone
In a shower of wispy feathers

I am covered in dew and I am drawn into a cave
It’s so dark, look away, look away
I know I am digging holes with a spoon
This is not real
Give me the sky

I catch the sky in my hands but the wind rips it
Away from me and I can’t fly to follow it
I’m afraid I don’t have enough to keep it
Maybe I don’t think of the things I should
Maybe I’m not looking in the right places

Please answer me
My heart is calling to the wild hawk
Where are you
Find me in this nothingness
I veil every word I say
But I don’t want to—I want to be heard
Do you hear me, do you know I am calling

I watch the birds and they see me down here
But they don’t come down for me
Their songs romance the sky
But I can’t get my guitar in tune
My voice keeps breaking

I keep trying
Why don’t I get there
I never sing the right things
I always get hurt and fall down when I try to fly
I’m terrified
I’m running the wrong way
I trip again
My heart is pounding, mind is racing
The leaves are swaying overhead in the sunlight
I’m trying to touch the faces of the trees

I’m on the beach and the waves are leaving me behind
The tide is pouring away
I don’t understand the birds
They swoop and dive and call but
I don’t understand

I envy you
I do not know how to fly
I do not want to swim
Oh how I wish I knew this

So I stand in the night
I stand in the moonlight and wish
That I was what I want to be
Find me cause I’m in a forest of trees too tall
I have echoes in my brain

I’m falling and I’m hanging on the edge of a cliff
Bird’s nests all around, baby birds live here
Think I’m gonna fall off
Oh how I tremble, oh how weak I am
I am jealous of jealousy
I drop the rope again and again
I wanna let go of the roots but they wrap around my wrists
Is this prison
Why do beams of sunlight glance into my eyes
Why am I seeing blind

I am at war inside
I feel my ribcage and I think it is cracking
Let it out, let it out
I wanna go and never come back
Oh, I wanna leave
I can’t figure it out
Unsettled feeling, tired eyes
Tired from watching my thoughts float by

I don’t know what’s wrong
Fog chases me and I cannot get away from it
I lie down and my thoughts won’t stop
Chasing around and around
I am sure something is wrong
What did I do, what did I say
Was it enough
What did I do, how did I end up here
I wanna be a bird

My dreams are reflections of insanity
I wake up cold and shivering
I pull the covers
There’s an island out there somewhere
I gotta find it in the fog
This isn’t right
I say all the wrong things
I don’t make sense
I pick feathers out of the sand

I imagine
It’s not enough
I always think I’ll scare you off
You wild, wild gentle creature of the sky
Again and again
Slipping away, drifting away on the sea

This dream is swallowing me
I’m just trying to get out of this dream
I don’t want this surreal reality
Dreams don’t make sense
I don’t make sense
Feathers floating past, white

Suddenly I see butterflies
Fluttering around me
They're dancing
Is it a dream or is it real
I try to touch them

I feel so lost in vague unreality
This dream is endless
I am exhausted, I am melting into a cloud
Lend me your wings so I can fly out
Grab my hand
Hold tight so I can sleep

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